Tuesday, July 30, 2013

This last year or so, I've realized, I'm an adrenaline freak. Not the bungie jumping, parachuting kind,but I'm more like the goosebumps kind.

And I get goosebumps pretty easily. Give me a hug, take me out for coffee, let me ride my bike until WOW it's pretty cuz we live in the mountains, or ride my bike along a babbling river, or take me to a concert or read me a poem...or....I think you get the picture.

But my favorite goosebumps have to do when I see transcendence. It's not too hard to do. Just go onto my rooftop terrace and watch the summer sun set into the dust of the Spanish desert. Take a bike ride along the river Genil.......and somehow, you get the goosebumply feeling that God is here, and we are not alone.

I had that very experience this weekend. I was in great need of not just adrenaline, but God goosebumps. You see, I get all the normal ones on a regular basis,bike rides, running, swimming in the pool, reading a book, watching a movie..but those a empty, hollow ones. They satisfy for the moment, like a burger or ice cream or Doritios, but shortly thereafter, you are reaching for more.

Don't get me wrong, the godgoosebumps,  with a lowercase g, they are great. I mean, that feeling you get 40 meters before the finish line, realizing you finished, awesomeness. The kiss on the back of the neck....dynamite!

But God, with an uppercase G, created all those goosebumps, and its easy to be drawn to those, rather than He who Gives the GODgoosebumps. But I digress. I went to a festival this weekend, and it was a Christian one. I didn't know what to expect, but I knew I needed something.

The second night, we were about to start the concert. Andrew and I were there, in Aguadulce, to take pictures for this festival. I knew that this concert would feature a DJ, named Marcos Cruz, and that was it.

I was walking to the tent with my friends, Liz and Juli, and suddently this great looking guy shows up outta nowhere. Juli knew who he was, Marcos Cruz, and stopped to talk to him. See, Juli had heard this guys story before. Marcos was a strung out, addicted to drugs and music, dj, in the middle of depression, when God finally caught him. Marcos told us his story, a before and after story of how God changed him, when Marcos finally asked to meet God, God met him, and that's it.

Marcos is still a DJ. He goes everywhere, in fact the night after he was with us, he was 150 miles away spinning at a discotec. He's played with some of the best, Tiesto, Guetta, etc. But now he knows Jesus.

As he told us his story, he burst into tears of joy, and that's when I got them, those goosebumps. You see, for the last year, I've been walking around in a strange fog. First, life is incredible. So much has gone so well. Academically, I'm headed up. Physically, I'm stronger than I have been in a long time. But, uff....a year ago, someone stabbed Andrew and I in the back, and its been pretty miserable. I actually felt like someone had physically stabbed me for about 4 months this earlier part of the year.

And I've wrestled. I've prayed, I've asked God to help me to forgive this person, and I've said "I forgive you" again and again and again. Most days I feel like I've forgiven and then some moments I wake up angrier than heck.

And mostly, its a knot in my back that won't go away. But Marcos talked about God taking away that knot in his stomach, and together we cried.

We left, as the concert was about to begin, and Marcos spun his music. Wow. I cried, the whole time, and my friends were worried. But you know what, I cried, asking for that knot to go away. If God did it for Marcos, He can do it for me.

It's not all gone yet, its a process. But there has been a before and a after. I feel lighter, more hopeful. I feel like I've begun healing again which is what God wants. He wants us to know Him as not only the Healer, but the Giver of His Goosebumps.