jamie's wanderings

  A long time ago, my aunt and uncle lived in Granada and we lived in each other's back pockets. They held our hands in language school and those first 10 years as we figured out Granada and culture and life and love and happiness and grief. I will never forget those days. Even though they now live between two other worlds, I know they left a chunk of their hearts here and we talk regularly, sometimes more and sometimes less. This week, as we walk through a family crisis with my dad's health, we have spoken a bit more. They left me, probably without meaning to, a book called L'abri, which discusses a long ago refuge created by the Schaeffers in the 1950s in Switzerland. They were in another time and another place and a different way of communicating, but God provided. They chose to step out in some crazy decisions, but God was there. And so, at my lowest moments, I pull out the book and reread the passages. Last night after shopping, I drove up to the edge of our property.

 I don't always publish back to back days, but I've run across a few interesting quotes on the state of life in general and wished to put these thoughts down before they flit across my brain and we are done.. I've again found a fascination with e.e.cummings who broke poetry rules and wrote as he felt, without caps and punctuation. In recent moments I've adapted something of my own of the lists of things that rollout of me without commas or periods so that you can follow where I'm really going. See what I just did? But, he, cummings, is still the King. And when the winter turns to spring far sooner here than the northern reaches of this planet, I remember his simple turns of phrases that suddenly cause us to remember spring pasts. I told Miguel Angel last month that I'm team Spring. So many people crawl out of the woodwork in August longing for cooler weather, and I shake my head at them, because, I'm team Spring. With the almonds bursting into bloom as we wo

 My super young (no age to protect her innocence ) at heart relative called me today, we talk at least once a month about various issues, sometimes cry, sometimes laugh, usually both, and I feel so blessed to have her. See, her story, just like all stories, has its share of violence, but she abounds in grace. This phrase is stolen from a dear professor of mine from my undergrad days, who needed to show a conservative Bible school that it wasn't just about memorzing theology and verses, but that story is what shapes who we are. So, she had a literature course that dedicated itself to the theme of violence and grace. Those of us who took it drank it in like water from a fire hose and some of the themes I learned almost 30 years ago, echo in my mind time and time again. These moments of violence, be they true violence like disaster, destruction, crime and more, or violence of the heart and emotions, are evil. Being unkind is just as evil as other bits of evil you can imagine, as bones

 I have been overwhelmed as of late of the deep intense unkindness that has seemed to ooze deep into our society. But, I am reminded of those kindnesses give towards me as well. One does not preclude the other, but sometimes the unkindess has felt echoey, loud and reverbating that I find myself choking back tears late at night wondering what the world has gotten itself into. I am an intense fan of the goodness that we have, both inherantly and also given to to us by God. I believe that many people in this world do not knowingly commit evil, but rather are motivated by selfish desires. I do believe that people can change, and not always say the same, but I believe we can do so because we have been empowered by God, and not only from ourselves. All this to say, I acknowledge the brokeness, the evil in the world, but I hesitate to meditate on the depravity of man. I believe that when we focus on our collective and personal evils, we do nothing but feed them, and allow more evil to perish.

 One of the journey's we faced last year was to put it mildly, unique. Back in August of 2022, I found an apartment for an older gentleman named Bob, and I know the landlady personally.  A few months later, Bob phoned me and asked for someone to go with him to the emergency room to translate as he wasn't doing so well. Bob was cool, an old rock and roller, a writer, a scholar, and just a cool guy. But he had struggled with a lot of mental health issues and just needed someone to help translate. Andrew ended up in the ER with him for several hours got some much-needed meds and said, See you Monday Bob, and that was that.  We never heard from Bob and then on that same Thursday, the landlady called me anxiously. Bob hadn't moved around his apartment in days, and his window was on and his light was open. Andrew went a few hours later, and found Bob by his bedside, not having moved from it for 5 days, semi conscious, having suffered a stroke. For months Bob moved around various

      For my MA and then my unfinished PhD theis, I wrote about how the emotion we label as Shame can affect us in speaking our second languages. It's a lot more complicated that than sentence above, but more or less that's what I wrote about.     Reading all the materials I did, papers, books, talks and more, I realized how much shame, named or unamed, is a motivating factor for so much what we do or do not do as adults. And, I can remember intense moments of shame in my own life, that have somehow defined who I am, or am not.     One of the fascinating elements of faith, and especially if you are not focused on the Christian institutions, but rather Christ himself, is His whole ministry focused on love and not following what a shame-based culture said he should and shouldn't do.     He should have never touched a woman who was bleeding, dead bodies, lepers, and women in general. But he did. And they were made whole, healed, raised from the dead and blessed.     He should

 It has been decided, from this blog and other musing, that I'm going to write a book this year, and see where things go from there. I've had some really interesting encouragement to do so, mostly from people who just don't know me, and only have ever read what I've put here or on social media. The best encouragement comes from a very prolific author of over 40 books who told me she's not really a person of faith but has enjoyed my writing the last several months. I'm, as the Brits say, gobsmacked, and truly delighted by her praise. Since 2012, my writings have been mostly either academic or deeply personal correspondence, and as of late, more business correspondence. More and more, my time has been dedicated to social media, rather than long format, so the last three or so months of stretching my legs out on this blog writing what I want to say has felt rather delightful, and incredibly therapeutic. I think some of the most important things to keep in mind, and