It has been decided, from this blog and other musing, that I'm going to write a book this year, and see where things go from there. I've had some really interesting encouragement to do so, mostly from people who just don't know me, and only have ever read what I've put here or on social media.

The best encouragement comes from a very prolific author of over 40 books who told me she's not really a person of faith but has enjoyed my writing the last several months. I'm, as the Brits say, gobsmacked, and truly delighted by her praise.

Since 2012, my writings have been mostly either academic or deeply personal correspondence, and as of late, more business correspondence. More and more, my time has been dedicated to social media, rather than long format, so the last three or so months of stretching my legs out on this blog writing what I want to say has felt rather delightful, and incredibly therapeutic.

I think some of the most important things to keep in mind, and these are notes to my self more than to my blogosphere, is that I'm trying in this book to tell the readers my perspective, my story, and hopefully encourage the readers that they are not alone.

This world post-Covid is more and more isolated, and partly because we learned the behavior and partly because it was imposed upon us and partly because its so easy to hide behind phones and screens and social media.  If you can duck the trolls, you can say whatever you want to say, curse, lie ,scream, shout, put your own consiparaicy theories up, and we just all scroll past if we care less.

On the plus side, we have learned a lot, and keep learning more about each other in this world of the social media ,and some of its pretty ugly and some is pretty.

Honestly, I think the closest metaphor I have to social media is its a lot like listening to a sermon. For those of you unchurched, maybe this is not a good metaphor, but I'd still like to stretch it out a little bit.

I have listened to thousands of sermons in my life. Live, recorded, short, long, boring, interesting, and now after 20 years or being in a second language, in 2 languages. I ended up in a place yesterday where for the maybe sixth time this year, I listened to a sermon. Lately, I've found I don't have the patience to listen, so I do more reading of such, but I digress.

It was pretty awful frankly. In my educated opinion ( because once upon a time I did study such things), you have certain moments in the calender or certain life events that preaching a sermon is pretty standarized. You can look up in your theology books, look online, or even ask ChatGPT what sort of things should be said by a holy person in whatever religion you want and its pretty straightforward. The assignment was simple and the person I listened to yesterday got a C-. He tried, it had a format, he read the Scriptures, but the logic was up and down. Its hard to listen to someone talk about seeking God's Kingdom first, and how material possessions are not to be pursued, who happens to be wearing a three piece suit, new shoes, a big watch and several flashy rings.

And, to the most part, I agree because the sermon on the mount, which Jesus stated and the sermon was based upon, is focused on how we enter God's Kingdom. And its not by flashy things or big tracts of land or lots of whatever is important to the culture then or now. But, by no means are those things evil. Jesus just meant us to worry about higher than than money.

This last year, and the last several years as I've transitioned from academia into business, has seen this as a common theme in my life and since 2017, 4 of those now 7 years have been quite incredible financially for me and Andrew. Some better, some worse, and yes, 2020 was both the best and the worst, but its been an interesting switch from teaching English and reading papers.

You see in academia, you have this idealistic, almost upbeat outlook on life that you are changing the world and money isn't something you think much about. However, that was then and this is now, and things are different than 2017 academia. It was already headed down a path I didn't like then, and post-pandemic, as the Uncle Peter says, The Plot has Sickened.

But when you move into business everything completely changes, and it's real easy real quick for it to be all about the money.

I spent the last week processing through the Kingdom of Heaven and money, and then bam, worst sermon this year showed the hypocrisy that we all have about money. DON"T WORRY about the money the church says, seconds after or even before the offering.

Don't worry about the money, many church and mission institutions say, but use money to manipulate congregations, pastors and missionaries.

Don't worry about what to eat or drink or wear, but there's a lot of "there there" and pats on the back rather than real action.

Don't get me wrong. There are so many beautiful places in this world that feed the poor, heal the sick, visit people in hospitals and nursing homes, take care of orphans and widows, give out meals the people who have faced natural disasters, and the list can go on and on and on.

But this business of church as a business, has something that has slowly sickened me over the last several years, and it needs to be put to a stop. The Pope has even done the same, rejecting the papal apartments, firing Cardinals and Archbishops who use monies they shouldn't, and living a more simple papal life in general to his predecessors who love expensive Italian leather shoes.

I know, I know, I'm being unusually critical, even for my own sarcastic self. But after the sermon this has all brought up new things.

And, I set aside this particular blog for a few days and looked at it again, and something else happened and it all bubbled up, again.

You see, for almost 2 decades, in some form or fashion, my husband and I have dedicated time and energy some more than other moments, to not one but two local churches. And both have had fantastic moments.

In the first, for a time we functioned like youth pastors. Dozens, if not hundreds of youth swung in and out, students from all over the world. We saw love in action, passion, creativity, and true heart change. And then, it fell apart. The reasons and names will stay in the dark for the moment, but essentially, it boiled down to politics and power.

And so, we all limped away. Many of us stayed close friends and got even closer. After a dark period, we were encouraged by some older, wiser friends to meet and pray and see what happened. Several months in, one sunny January day, a friend came to see us all, and told us, something was about to happen.

We could barely hold our breaths and believed, was a miracle happening? And it did. A new group was formed, young, bright, hopeful, with a lot of plans for the future.

Things started out well, lots of promises, lots of energy, and lots of plans. But rather quickly, I saw signs of power and struggle for it, as well as a deep, innate desire for control, and underneath, a revulsion to change.

Covid came and pushed everyone to their mental and emotional edge, and the deep cracks that had formed for a very, very long time, broke open, and we fell down into one of them. Pushed aside, ignored, and then ridiculed, we realized it was no longer our place. We no longer had a voice, frankly it had been muffled for a very long time, and the respect that should have happened was non-existent. We were even told by an older gentleman, that the current leadership was not mature enough for even our very presence.

This is almost 3 years ago. Three years has been a long time. Something new is forming, but it will be very different and look very opposite of what we have been involved. Going to visit last week was good,but reinforced everything we don't want a new place to be like.

Because the Kingdom of Heaven is concerned about money, time and resources, but not about "returning it all into the Kingdom of Heaven" or earning good money so that the Kingdom of Heaven can advance. No, neither of these are good. The flashy preacher or televangelist is just as much in contra of the Kingdom as a person denying himself of good food or a good pair of shoes to prove a point.