I don't always publish back to back days, but I've run across a few interesting quotes on the state of life in general and wished to put these thoughts down before they flit across my brain and we are done..

I've again found a fascination with e.e.cummings who broke poetry rules and wrote as he felt, without caps and punctuation. In recent moments I've adapted something of my own of the lists of things that rollout of me without commas or periods so that you can follow where I'm really going. See what I just did?

But, he, cummings, is still the King. And when the winter turns to spring far sooner here than the northern reaches of this planet, I remember his simple turns of phrases that suddenly cause us to remember spring pasts. I told Miguel Angel last month that I'm team Spring. So many people crawl out of the woodwork in August longing for cooler weather, and I shake my head at them, because, I'm team Spring. With the almonds bursting into bloom as we wound up and down mountain roads, Miguel Angel agreed with me.

New life, new hope, new purpose after Winter's deep sleep. We need the Winter's sleep so we can awake again, and these last two weeks have definetly begun to feel that way. 

So new quotes to have deep thoughts over. Last night, we watched the new Aguaman movie. I love Jason Mamoa's raw emotion, be it love for his son, or anger over injustice and destruction. But one scene as he sits quietly with his dad at table is what tugged at me. He comments how hard it is to do it all, raise a son, be a king, take care of everyone, but marvels at how his dad did it as a single dad.

His dad looks over and says, but it was my job. My love and "Sometimes not giving up is the most heroic thing you can do."

Gulp. Last week, that's where I was. Emotionally, physically as my body wrung itself out over its chronic Kidney stones, professionally as someone had walked all over me, and spiritually, as people had decided I wasn't "doing"enough. Late one night in bed, I sobbed out all of those emotions telling Andrew I didn't know how to move forward. Blogging the next day helped, a phone call to just chat from another friend even more and big massive hugs and a long long long longest ever hike with a group of people that I love, even more so.

And then yesterday, I crept up to the piece of property we bought almost four years ago, those few days before the world fell apart as we knew it, and prayed, and sang, and meditated on the warmest mossy bed. As I drove up, the ancient words of the hymn, Holy, Holy Holy rang in my ears, and I sung it over and over again.

Hope does not dissapoint. My mother in laws favorite words she clung to as she fought cancer over 14 years ago. Words we cling to when we feel like giving up the bestest of great adventures. 

There is so much to look at in the evil of this world and sometimes it wraps around us again and again again like a wave. But Hope, and knowing a Holy God, gives us this to not give up, is what propels me forward.

Don't get me wrong, there are still days filled with anger that are really just grief manifesting itself and nights full of nightmares. But what takes these stinging moments away?

Tenderness. This morning I found this concept on my nephews IG account. And it caused me to ponder a bit more.

I rewatched Lord of the Rings the other day and you know what I really appreciate?

The men are so tender.

They cry, and kiss each other's foreheads, and hug, and call each other 'my friend'and ''my dear'; they're respective to women and faithful to their partners; they have banter without being creepy and sleazy, and literally none of that stops them from being considered 'manly''.

More Lord of the Rings man please. @enilillestarling

Wow, there is a lot to unpack about the social commentary of that comment re: the US or other parts of the world that struggle with this. But gratefully, I am blessed to be part of a culture where tenderness and affection between men and men and women is something that is beautiful.

I met with a client, a good friend, and as he saw me, he kissed me on both cheeks like men and women do when they greet each other (women to women as well). He did the same as I left, telling me to greet my husband as well.

I saw a friend I hadn't in two years, instead of a social visit this was business, and she grabbed me in a massive hug and exclaimed how good I looked and how much I'd lost weight.

And finally, the men here in family members greet each other with two kisses, and friends with long hugs and "me alegro verte"even if its been a week since they saw each other.

Folks, when this was taken away from us in Covid because of the fear of death, it all killed a part of us. I remember starting work back up in 2021 and not knowing how to greet people. Kisses? Handshakes? Hugs? None of that. As it has slowly eeked back into our life here, I forgot how wonderful it is and how hungry we were all for it.

Sadly, it may not have returned to other parts of the world. Perhaps this is how and why we are suddenly a lot less kind, a lot less tenderhearted, and how Hope has died in so many of our hearts. Go out and hug someone today. It may mean they don't give up.