One of the journey's we faced last year was to put it mildly, unique. Back in August of 2022, I found an apartment for an older gentleman named Bob, and I know the landlady personally. A few months later, Bob phoned me and asked for someone to go with him to the emergency room to translate as he wasn't doing so well.
Bob was cool, an old rock and roller, a writer, a scholar, and just a cool guy. But he had struggled with a lot of mental health issues and just needed someone to help translate. Andrew ended up in the ER with him for several hours got some much-needed meds and said, See you Monday Bob, and that was that.
We never heard from Bob and then on that same Thursday, the landlady called me anxiously. Bob hadn't moved around his apartment in days, and his window was on and his light was open. Andrew went a few hours later, and found Bob by his bedside, not having moved from it for 5 days, semi conscious, having suffered a stroke.
For months Bob moved around various hospitals before ending up in the rehab hospital for months, and then eventually moving into a local residence. Andrew played advocate and nursed Bob on every visit, and rushed to his side at every ER visit. He called all of Bob's friends, wrote weekly updates, talked to Bob's sister, and took me to visit Bob sometimes too, when it was permitted and when I could find a moment.
The last moment we both saw Bob was together. It was a hot day in June, and Bob was barely conscious. He did drink the bottle of Aquarius Andrew gave him but I could tell it was the end. A few days later Bob slipped quietly away, to the sounds of his own music that he had played for so many years, in the same town where Federico Garcia Lorca was born. I think Bob, being a poet, musician, and writer, felt at home there, and felt he could slip away in that quiet, tree-covered town with a view of the Sierra Nevada.
We had Bob quietly cremated, and before that, Andrew and went alone, sat next to his body, and played him some music as a final goodbye. We both cried, wishing we'd known him better, and wondering why we were the ones entrusted to walk with him to the bridge crossing over into the next life. We were told by family and friends that he was a Buddhist. Sometimes, when he was conscious he would let Andrew pray for him, and others not. At one of his worst moments full of fear, Andrew prayed and he was calmed and found peace.
A month or so after he passed away, Andrew placed Bob's urn carefully into his carry-on, and traveled with it all the way to Providence, Rhode Island, to have a small memorial service with a few of Bob's oldest friends and his sister. I went with Andrew to Madrid, and it was so beautiful how as he moved through security at the airport, the security gave him their condolences, without even knowing who Bob was to Andrew. Andrew called me at several points in the journey and complained about how heavy the urn was, both physically and emotionally.
We may never know or understand the why of this mission, but it was what was given us, and Andrew more than me carried this responsibility with the most highest of honors. I am so frickin proud of him, for being the good Samaritan to someone we barely knew. Andrew spoke to dozens of doctors, nurses, social works, funeral home directors, Bob's friend and family, and was one of the most amazing persons throughout it all.
It's been several months now and I still feel like we are processing through it all. I wrote until this point early this afternoon and even after two hours of a break, I still don't know how to properly finish this piece.
And maybe that's the way it should be. On New Years Eve, Andrew took a box of chocolates and a bottle of sparkling wine up to the department where Bob spent the most time, in the Rehab hospital here in Granada. He left it with a beautiful note of thanks, a few pictures and walked away from the nurse station.
As he arrived back home, his phone rang and it was the nurse supervisor, who had just realized what had happened. She gave her condolences as she didn't know Bob had passed away and again and again thanked Andrew for his love, care, and appreciation towards the nurses. I think Bob would have dug it knowing that those nurses who cared for him, even in his most grumpy moments, had a bit of wine and chocolate to ring in the new year.
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