Thursday, August 21, 2008

We had to make one of the most difficult decisions we've had this year, do we stay or do we go?

Our tickets back to Spain were orginally scheduled for August 19th, this past Tuesday. Last week realized slowly that we were still 885 dollars undersupported, that we needed more support, and that we couldn't do it in just a weeks time.

I was exhausted beyound all recognition. I had been traveling every week for 7 weeks, living out of a suitcase. I have been on 8 plane flights this summer, driven over 39 hours on road trips and been in 8 states. I've slept in too many beds and woken up at least one night wondering where in the heck I was.

It was so hard as a result to process through all the facts and make a logical decision. Clouding my judgement was the fact that I just wanted to go home and sleep in my own bed before things got insanely busy back in Spain.

I love what I do. I love living in Spain, speaking Spanish, leading worship, teaching English, translating songs, writing a book, seeing the world through European eyes, weeping with, laughing with, caring for my friends, my husband, my co workers, and my students, both International and Spanish.

And so, making the decision to stay here, to continue to hit the pavement to tell others about our ministry, to talk about our ministry until we are exhausted and long to return to it, didn't sound like fun to me.

On top of it, I knew I was exhausted when I went to talk to different people, and a two hour long conversation drained everything from me.

Enough complaining. God was faithful to give me some good friends to encourage me. One friend reminded me of the Shummamite woman and Elijah. Her son dies, she doesn't freak out, she says, everything is ok.

I had to read the passage several times to find that statement. But she did. She said it was ok. I don't know where she took her peace from, but she knew that son was from God, and He was going to take care of the situation. She didn't even ask for him, but he was given to her, and God was going to take care of him.

I didn't ask for all this, this ministry. I didn't ask to be in worship, to write a book, to teach English. I didn't ask to go to Spain, to live in Granada. God gave it to me, He gave it to Andrew and me. Andrew didn't ask to be a youth leader, run sound, dream big dreams, develop a church, counsel a pastor, pray for impossible things, live in a loud university town. God gave it all to us.

And when He wants us to return, He'll give it back. Everything is Ok.

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