Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I feel like the summertime for me is always a return to creativity. Often, during the school year, my energies are poured into my students, my relationships with people that are only here for a short time, and more importantly, my marriage and family.

After that energy is spent, I'm spent. And all I can bring myself to do is write a bit, poke around on Facebook, and maybe take a few pictures that are fun and entertaining (sometimes only to myself!).

So, today, I've cracked out the paint, the crayons and the pastels, and determined to do something, anything, to engage my creative self, even if it just means taking a piece of art off my own wall and copying it into "my version".

Halfway through, it barely looks like the original, but its mine. I really don't do well at drawing or painting, but I do it for me. I do it to process, to think about something else besides work, and to find a few moments of getting my fingers dirty to see what my heart tells me.

Today, I am sad. I am sad, missing people who are forever gone from this life, like Penny, like my grandfather, my grandmother. People who put their indelible drawings on my own life. Like whenever my keys dangle outta my pocket, the image of my Granddad comes to mind. Like when I drink a cold coke on a hot day, I remember sitting in the summer hut with Penny in Africa. Like when I feel angry over sin, I remember my Gramma Soen's righteous wrath.

I feel sad to say goodbye. Goodbye to the Erasmus students that have been here almost a year and wormed their way into our hearts. Sad to say goodbye to our pastors and family who are movning to Valencia to take another pastorate. Sad even to say goodbye to friends who will return in two months. Sad.

Unfortunately, we as protestant evangelical modern Christians don't permit ourselves a sad day. I should end this blog post today saying, But we have hope, faith, happiness....even though its true, there are some days we lack all three, and we pray and search the scriptures and end up with the depressing but powerful verses..

"2 Remember what happened to Lot’s wife!33 If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it." Luke 17:32-33

May we not cling to our faith, or what we believe we believe in. May we not turn back to the past longing for what might have been. Instead, as we color in the lines God keeps giving us, may we look forward to Him, latch onto him, and let our lives go, so we might be saved.

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