Today I began teaching English at a local academy. Its a different one than I first thought I would work at...but I'm getting ahead of myself.
This spring an academy came knocking at my email box asking from my resume or CV as they call it here. I gave it to them, interviewed, and they thought they might hire me. But, no students appeared.
I sent my CV out and another Academy (basically tutoring school, common here) called me. I worked part time for the summer ( 5 hrs a week) and thought it was ok, but there were a few warning bells. First, they implicitly trusted me and threw me this girl I thought was never going to learn. Fortunately she did and passed her exam we studied for. I was shocked.
So, I sat down with my potential boss and she handed me 19 hours of potential teaching per week, with the promise of more. I had a small nervous breakdown for the two following days. I refused to answer my cell phone for fear of more work.
But my phone persistently ran on Thursday afternoon, and a very Midwestern American voice pleaded with me to come and interview that afternoon at another Academy, in my neighborhood (10 minutes walking distance), for less hours and more money. Sheesh, I couldn't believe it. I told him I'd sleep on it.
Andrew and my two current house guests( write more on that later) thought I couldn't pass it up. They were thrilled. We prayed about it, slept on it, and made the decision, this was what I would do. Andrew said, just write an email telling this lady you can't work for her, too busy, too many hours.
I did, and she didn't call me until today....panicked, and tried to talk me back into it. I almost relented. But, for some reason, I felt convinced this other situation would be better. I believe I've made the right decision. With the witness of the Spirit with the three men in my house, and within my heart, I see this is the right way.
However, I feel crappy. I've been taught that your word is your life, your character, etc, etc. Your yes be yes, etc, etc. Had I stayed with the first school, I would have had to give up my involvement in church, both in English worship as well as the music group. No way. I would have had less flexibility as she refused to work with me in my travels back to the US, and there was no guarantee she would actually get me a visa, the whole point of this endeavor (besides of course this opportunity is incredible!)
But God was gracious, and yesterday the sermon was about Esther. The preacher whose name is Eleouterio (try saying that 3 times fast) slowly warmed up to his points, one of them has stuck in my head today. Mordacaei comes to Esther and asks her the impossible, to go see the King without being summoned. At first, she says, Heck no, and then sits back to think about it, and realizes she needs some time. Those of us biblically literate know the rest of the story, and I'll sum it up for those who aren't, Esther, a little Jewish girl who won the reality show of the day to become queen, saves the entire Jewish race from obliteration.
However, she didn't feel good about this action at first. But Mordacaei utters those wonderful prophetic words, "for such a day you were made...." or something along those lines.
This helped me sit back and understand that all decisions don't always feel right, even if we know they are right, and God shows us in whatever way, it is the right or better decision. I believe God often gives us choices, and sometimes we don't always listen to those whisperings He gives us. I was blessed this weekend to have several really great dudes under my roof that listened to me, validated my feelings, helped me sort everything out, and make a life changeing decision (thanks Andrew, Hiram and Jon).
Eleouterio also discussed how in Proverbs 31:25, the woman is described as being dressed in strength and honor. Today talking to the other academy took strength. The guys told me I did it honorably, even though I didn't do it face to face (that's my one regret) They told me that face to face wouldn't have helped at all, and she made have said worse things to me. I hope I did it with honor, and my prayer is that I can be like Esther and the woman in Proverbs 31 to continue in this same vein.