I mentioned in the previous blog that we have been removed from various tables at which we were being poisoned. I wish to delve deeper into this, but first some thoughts as to where I'm at now.

One of the things that is giving me more courage to do this, was last week meeting an old friend who has worked for The Kingdom of Heaven for a long time. As a very young almost woman, I went and visited him and his wife in an exotic place. He and I had several pivotal conversations during that time that made me think deep thoughts and almost 30 years later, have continued to form my thinking about what this world is and isn't.

One of his main complaints then and even now, is that most of the organizations that call themselves churches or the church are just that, organizations. They have lost their true ideologies or missions, and have instead sunk to the level that many institutions do, working at controlling those men and women dedicated to their growth.

I have agreed for a long time, but hope springs eternal, and my husband and I have tried time and again to be a vital part of different organizations and churches, but after the last go around, we feel pretty burned out and reluctant to be part of something like this again.

There are so many people who have called themselves ex-vangelicals, or said they have left the faith, saying they are now agnostics or atheists, and many others say that they are deconstructing their faith. Even though I am not there, I understand and I see you.

I would like to think of myself as a person that is not deconstructing, but rather, constructing. Working now in real estate, I sell a lot of second-hand homes, and many of them need tender loving care to redo. New floors, new tiles, new bathrooms and kitchens and VOILA, a tired old place becomes new and better than ever before.

But, as they say in Spanish, in order for this all to be successful, the bones must be solid.

Examining the bones of many, modern, churches both Protestant and Catholic shows us, that they aren't.

Looking at the US side of things, for many years, the foundations of thought have gone something like this.

1. If you understand and possess the right theology, everything will work.

2. If you save yourself for marriage, your marriage will be glorious.

3. If you submit yourself to those above you, pastors, men, leaders, and whoever is in leadership, you will be happy, healthy, and wealthy.

4. If you follow all of the above, and bad things happen, obviously you haven't been following all of the above. You have done something wrong and God is trying to teach you a lesson.

When I read the Gospels, I kind of get the opposite.

1. The Pharisees and Sadducees had it all figured out in theology, albeit on different sides of the spectrum, but Jesus talked about how they were missing out on the Kingdom of Heaven.

2. When confronted with sexual sin, Jesus told those people they knew they shouldn't, and should turn around and not do it anymore. Nowhere is purity culture discussed by Jesus as a recipe for successful unions.

3. Jesus came to complete the law, but time and again, those who held the law saw Him as a rebel. He let his disciples "harvest" because they were hungry. He healed on the Sabbath. He was accused of hanging out with the sinners. And because of that, they killed him.

4. Did Jesus do it all wrong and so that's why he was crucified?

I know I'm broad-stroking a lot of issues there, but the bones of the current modern institution we call church are pretty shaky. Everyone can quote verses, catechisms, and creeds, and discuss the need for sexual purity, and cry out against anything deemed deviant.

But where is the Good Samaritan?

Where are those who are blessed for being pure, merciful and full of compassion?

Where are those living the Kingdom's abundant life?

Last week a family friend passed away. Shortly before our family met him, he was cured of a rare form of cancer, and for the next 30 years, he walked in his body, crying out to everyone who met him that God had done so. Redemption and healing were something he lived in daily, even to the end when his body failed him.

Another family friend who was radically changed because of Jesus' love, who died almost a decade ago, had words of wisdom that still ring in my ears. As a teenager when I was critical and judgemental, he almost grabbed me by the scruff and said, "Behavior is only changed when the Holy Spirit changes your heart." His words and his joyous laughter of abundant life still ring in my ears at the lowest moments of my life.

All three men I have mentioned above have faced worst-case scenarios in their lives. One has been jailed for his faith. Another almost died before he was 35 of a rare disease, the other died before 65 having sunk into premature dementia.

These are all men of whom the world is not worthy, but they lived or still live a massively abundant life dedicated to the Kingdom of God. These men and others like them, are those that form the bones of the Kingdom of Heaven.

Bulldoze the hollow bones of those places that are crumbling down. Rebuild and build the Kingdom of Heaven. It's what Jesus told us to do.