These posioned tables have been like the scene in C.S. Lewis book, The Silver Chair, which is an often overlooked part of the Narnia Series.

The Prince is enchanted, and by that, a bettter more modern word would be bewitched, and the Silver Chair is controlling him to stay underground and not possess the kingdom that is rightfully his, and instead and Evil Witch rules over all.

The Prince is so bewitched, so possessed by this Silver Chair, that he cannot see what is really happening, and that is he is completely bound to it with chains.

It takes courage from a creature called a Marshwiggle, who burns his feet and snuffs out the incense-laden fire which is poisoning the air. The Marshwiggle pays no mind that he might burn his feet, but understands he must do so to end the enchantment.

The first poision I realized that so many people have drunk, is that to be a Christian in a respectable church with dignified ceremony and theology, is to give away the freedoms they have. This can be in the form of legalism, directly stated in rules or subtly not so stated.

I realized this when I initially moved abroad to a traditionally Catholic country, and when I met men and women who were genuinely converted, one of the things they talked about was freedom from guilt and shame. Those themes, freedom, guilt and shame, have become powerful elements in my understanding of who God is, what he wants for us, and how we let guilt and shame rule us. When I personally realized that guilt and shame was what Jesus took from us and we didn't have to walk in and out these painful emotions in our faith, I felt free.

And so, I lived my life. But when you live a life of freedom, those who wrap themselves in the self-righteous robes of guilt and shame to restrain them, or cuff them to their own Silver Chairs, protest.

One old friend and what I thought was a trusted friend, wrapped himself good and tight, and when he saw the way I and my husband lived, he couldn't stand it and set out to destroy our freedom.

He almost did. At two separate points, we had a MarshWiggle stand up and burn his feet to stop the fetid air.

At one meeting, both my husband and my uncle stood up and said, "Do what you want, take your money and go, but this is the line we stand in."

He left, crying.

And before, at another meeting, after being attacked for hours, there was a distinct feeling in my soul, as if the very Holy Spirit said, "ENOUGH!" and the meeting finished abruptly.

Fourteen years later, it sounds all nice and tight and wrapped up, but there are moments when this posiion still echoes in my soul.

Since those pivotal moments, freedom has been attacked again and again, and those bathed in the idea of rules and regulations and control and power have tried again and again. To relieve those moments in this blog will be redundant, but I will merely say this, the Good News of Jesus is freedom, peace, healing, compassion and mercy. New life to live abundantly not just in the next life, but this life. This is why, following him is the Way.

Not the rules.

Not the tightly wrapped theology that seeks to take away the mystery of God and man and woman made in His image ( or is it hers?)