Autumn is a season of nostalgia and its probably why elements of it I really don't care for as much as others do. I enjoy a pumpkin spice latte, my favorite holiday (after Easter) is Thanksgiving, and in Andalucia, the air is finally cooler and windows are thrown open, even if the one damn desert mosquito finds you in the middle of the night. These are great, but the darkening days are not my favorite.

I actually count the weeks down until Winter Solstice, and rejoice greatly the instant the earth turns again towards the sun. It's probably one reason why we got married in April instead of November.

A bit of the nostalgia today stems from the fact that last blog, I closed out my rants on perhaps what some might call the deconstruction of what I believe. I'd like to call it the renewal of it instead, and this blog return to creativity of the present and the future and not what happened in the past and my logical, visceral and intellectual discoveries through it all.

And my brother is right, like he usually is, that creative expression, good or bad, or awful or amazing, is what orders our brains, keeps us sane, and helps us understand this world in which we live in. It gives us hooks to hang our hats upon, and allows us to show the world what sort of light is under the bushel we usually hide it under.

My highest form of creative expression is words and always has been. I wrote poetry as an 8 year old, read books until it made me half blind as a child, and now even as an adult, when I'm stressed, and even more so in my second language, as words are spoken, I see them apear as words in my head. The social media gurus want us to think with such things occuring in our brain, we are neurodivergants, and perhaps I am, but isn't that what makes us all interesting beings? And, for those of us who believe in a divine, show us all how the image of the divine was shattering into billions of pieces and now we all walk around on this earth?

The hardest thing for me as the sun lurks further and further away from our planet for the next 6 weeks, is to understand the strength that I've been granted, and really, what all of us have been granted. Instead of simmering in nostalgia and depression and sadness, I'm going to write every week until the earth tips back towards the sun and talk about the strength we have as humans which according to an old book, is held in our fragile clay selves to show it comes from the Divine and not from us.

But we have it. It's an amazing power. Power and strength are both words that have been pushed in such a way, that right now, there is a massive amount of negative association with both. But, I'd like to take it back, this day we fight the autumn nostalgia and darkness and turn it into strength, power, and light that we hold in our fragile clay bodies.

The problem is, we are seeing power and strength abused. We see it in the politicians and the wars and the words and the tweets/truthsocials/threats/tiktoks that swirl about.

We see it with men and women being wrenched from their homes/vehicles/streets and pushed to the ground and made to scream their names.

Men speak of slavery as a good thing suddenly, and millions of people actually live it as they fear for lack of food medical care and mostly, peace. Men send soldiers into wars no one wanted, ships into waters that are unbidden, and cities that have no war. Men demand lean,hungry, passionate, angry young men to serve them in their old age, and give them no guarantees those young ones will see old age as their masters have.

And worse, we see it as women tell women what they can and cannot do, to be good women by insisting they be less than what they were created to be. These women, tradwives/religious women/politicians do this in order to exert more control. And telling them they cannot while they do the very things they are tell us not to do. Instead of being the strength and power, both men and women use it without mercy and grace to control and abuse and manipulate those underneath their control and power.

Instead of permitting scientists and doctors to use their power to heal, they take away monies so needed to continue these actions....and the list goes on and on and on and on, while dancing and eating cake with no regard to those who cannot.

But enough of the evil, it dominates our world daily, and worse, into our own hands. Abuses, insults and more at the mere touch of a screen.

Enough.No.

No to the demanding attitudes. No to the repression and oppression. No.

And yes to what we so need right now.

Strength to stand up to say now. Power to stand up to the bully. Peace, or completeness to be granted, wholeness. Medicine, food, love, kindness, care, hugs that don't mean anything other than a hug, words that are given to encourage and not tear down. Strength to say no to the religious authorities demanding rules be followed and creativity to be withdrawn. Strength to stay standing even when all else falls around you.

Power to see how hope is what does not disappoint. 

And when we see that this strength and power used in these ways are from God and given to us as gifts to build up and not tear down, evil will weaken its grip. It will slowly dissipate like fog on a warm day. It will cower in the corners again, just like darkness does with a tiny candle flickers into existence. And it will be a dim memory, only recording in words and images and not one we have to live daily.

In darkest moments, when all I can do is hold on, Andrew comes and finds me and reminds me of this quote.

 "I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us". 

Decide. Live in the Strength and Power granted us and use them for good. 

And evil, will be fade like a bad memory of a nightmare once had.