This month has been one of deep reflection, art and mystery and I think most end of the years should be like this. We are now on the edges of Christmas, with this week being the first Sunday of Advent. And building up to this point I've been privy to a great deal of art and music that has helped heal my soul

But one of the breaking moments I've experienced was today. There is a social media account of a southern US man talking about the culture of that world, and it broke me. See, I didn't grow up in the South, but my Mom's mom and grandma were Nana and Nanan respectively and that shows you they were from West Virginia.

Well, this man talked about the church ladies that raised him, comforted him and nurtured him, and just hearing about his experiences brought tears to my eyes and memories that bubbled over.

The Thanksgivings my Nana made a dozen pies, and then we snuck in the night before to consume one without her knowledge....with Grandad.

Going to my Aunt Jane's wedding Alabama, where those church ladies were so proud they finally got their youth pastor, my Aunt, married off and threw her a big wedding. With all the big hair, satin dresses and 80s makeup in full force, darn it were they proud.

And hearing the stories of my great grandmother who kicked ass and took names as a 29 year old widow with 5 kids and later as a grandmother to make sure her daughter, my Nana, didn't sink into postpartum depression.

And when my own mother in law died a painful slow death of cancer, of all those church ladies that took care of us before, during and even after. That massive meal that appeared out of thin air after we buried Penny on that cold Feb day. Potatoes of all forms, hams, fried chicken and yes, even pie. It's what we needed and then realized we wanted.

These church ladies knew and still know, the power of caring for others and how the Kingdom of Heaven comes one casserole at a time.

And today, my tears of joy over the past are mingled with tears of anger over the present. My mother was and is a church lady and when her church several years ago dismissed the deaconess board, I knew it was the beginning of the end.

And so, even the power of the church lady is being wrenched away and told its not important. I was trained with the best, and during one cold November day when I was just a college student, I prepared casseroles with the best of the them as we buried 3 bodies of a family brutally murdered. I knew that no matter what I did or where I went, the church lady was stitched permanently into my soul. But sadly, this way of life is being killed by this present darkness.

I'm a big girl now, and I believe that we are all given gifts, and some are meant to be leaders and other followers. I believe and I am surrounded by amazing men and women, that women should not be restricted to leadership positions because they lack male genitalia. But I also agree the power of the divine in the feminine is not limited, but is expansive and wide and full of tenderness and kindness this world lacks. And we need to show it with some church lady actions.

No matter if you are president of the United States as a women, you should still never forget how God has created you as a woman. And that means a lot.

It means helper, and not just holding someone's hand, but it means being everything that other person cannot be.

It means creator. It can mean having children, or nurturing them as auntie, cousin, sister and more, or creating art, food, homes, careers and the list goes on and on and on.

It means completion. When Eve was created, everything was done. Being feminine means putting the period at the end of the sentence.

And my point, it means showing the world these things in a divine sense. Kindness, justice, without boundaries but with boundaries, with discipline and grace, with mercy and punishment when needed, with deep overabiding everlasting never finished never run out love.

Like the church ladies that organized food for everyone in every moment of need. Death, got it. New baby, got it. Surgery and housebound, we are there.

Or the church ladies that when my mom was bed bound with her 7th baby came and brought food every single day for 3 months. And when that baby was in the NICU, they came and cleaned her house from top to bottom without shame. 

It is this attitude, these qualities, these abilities, that make us so good at what we do, and to see everything being wrenched away and our abilities distilled to only _________________is what angers me. Women's rights are important and although we are strong, we need protected in health, in safety, in the workplace, in the political arena and in the home. 

Don't get me wrong, I make a mean cinnamon roll, but I also negotiate a kick ass house price and do it in two languages. One, never ever every should preclude the other, because doing both are gifts from God that I intend to use until I can't anymore.

One of the proudest things I've done this fall is take myself to a fundraiser on the side of the hill in Granada. It was still warm and sunny and dozens if not hundreds of families dotted the grass around the venue. Life music blared, and all the greats were covered. Cher, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, their echoes of freedom and life screaming into our hearts.

Beer and food were sold freely, I bought more than my fare share of tickets from one of my besties, who had invited me, with the full knowledge that the benefits of that day were going to hygiene kits for women and girls in Palestine. Soap, Shampoo pads, underwear, deodorant, all the things our cabinets have more than one of each exploding out of them, these women so desperately needed.

I sat on the ground with a beer in my hand and had one of the most spiritual experiences I'd had all year. Maybe it was the sun, or the music and the paella, but what struck me were the hundreds of families that had dedicated their day to this moment, to ensure women and girls were taken care of in a far off place that seemed like out of a bad movie.

It was a church lady moment in a secular space I never expected. So, I bought another beer because at that moment, it was all I could do.

This world right now is so fucked up. Wars and rumors of wars. Kids being kidnapped, people serving in militaries not from their own country to find redemption. Presidents and dictators and horrible sermons and words from leadership that are worse than any bad HollyWood movies I've seen in a long time. Billionaires hellbent on more money and happy to take food from the poor, medicine from the sick and worse, no shame in doing so.

So my moment here to today is to encourage everyone one of us to find your church lady today and fight the system, one casserole at a time. Because without them, we are doomed. We are all given moments to do it and we all need to. Maybe you make a meal, maybe you just drive the other person to doctors office, or maybe you just sit and hold someone's hand, and you don't have to be a churchy person or even a lady to do it, but follow the example of these powerful women of past and present, and do it. You will never be the same.